My Yawning Crisis

Sitting in a hairdresser two years ago I was criticized for constantly having my mouth slightly open.

Perceived as rude by some, particularly my hairdresser at the time, having my mouth open isn't just a bad habit that needs shaking.

That's because 'it' - the act of having my mouth open slightly and never firmly closed - has become something of an involuntary action that seems to happen when I'm suffering high anxiety and or a panic attack.

So essentially travelling on trains, eating in restaurants and being forced to sit in a chair with half-cut hair fearing I'm about to be sick, all qualify as situations worthy of having an open gob.

Whilst I know it's not nice to see someone with their mouth open, the tendency is to wonder whether they're bored and day-dreaming, as you'll all know anxiety attacks tend to cause rapid breathing - so essentially when I'm having a panic my mouth automatically opens so that I'm able to breathe in and out faster than normal (if I was to just breathe in through my nose I'd probably pass out).

What's even more annoying is that an extension of this trait tends to make me yawn when my anxiety is particularly high, or whilst my anxiety level is rising.

Yet whilst this would seem like a normal action if your suffering rapid breathing - I suppose your able to expand your rib cages at a faster rate and take in more air by yawning - I can't help but notice how annoying it is especially when your suffering anxiety and rapid breathing during everyday scenarios.

Say for example you're in a meeting. Or in a class. Or taking a class. How impressionable does it look when you're yawning every five minutes, secretly an unsatisfying yawn that isn't occurring because of a lack of sleep the previous night or just boredom.

I've been plagued with this yawn crisis for years now! So much so I can even remember discussing it ten or so years ago with my then psychiatrist.

Fast forward to the present day however and I'm still suffering the untimely reflexes.

Yet I can't help but wonder if I'd ever truly be sorry to see them go, both the uncontrollably open mouth defect and chronic yawning.

Because whilst embarrassing and never really doing anything to relieve my panic, I can't help but identify how peaceful I feel with my mouth ajar and yawns frequent whilst in an unfavorable situation.

To control the habit (in THOSE situations at least) would surely just cause more panic and grief?

I yawned once whilst writing this article.